JONAH COMPLEX: FEAR OF ONES OWN GREATNESS

                          DO WE FEAR SUCCESS????

There would have been situations in your life where you want or wanted something badly, say some promotion, a dream job or admission in your dream university or anything like that but when such an opportunity is right there knocking at your door you just step back.  We want to achieve things, make progress but are in constant dread of making progress. Being successful is somehow fearsome. This fear of success or fear of one’s own greatness is Jonah Complex.

Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist put forward this concept the “Jonah complex” in this book published in 1971. The name comes from the Biblical story of Jonah’s evasion of the destiny to prophesy the destruction of Nineveh. Maslow states, "So often we run away from the responsibilities dictated (or rather suggested) by nature, by fate, even sometimes by accident, just as Jonah tried—in vain—to run away from his fate. Maslow’s complex refers to the ‘fear of one’s greatness,’ or avoiding our true destiny or calling. Maslow stressed that we fear our best as much as our worst.

We all have an impulse to improve ourselves, to move ahead in life, to grow, to reach our full potential. Then what holds us up? What blocks us? People with Jonah’s Complex have some kind of conflicts in their inner world. Some people realize these inner conflicts but in most of the cases these are repressed in the unconscious.

For Maslow Jonah complex is peoples defense to “run away from one’s own best talents” or “fear one’s own greatness”. Maslow pointed out that we fear doing our best because being at the top entails being lonely and also then they would only be able to move downwards. Hence, many of them spend their life fighting to stay away from being brilliant, fearing that if they would reach their potential it will only make them lonely and stressed. 

We all or atleast most of us fear success somehow and sometimes hold ourselves from trying, giving lame excuses to ourselves and others like .... I don't think I have it in me............ Nah!! its not for me....... I don't deserve it .... Somebody else deserved more etc.

In situations like these  Maslow used to advice, which I think is one of the most motivation phrases I've ever come across “IF NOT YOU, THEN WHO?” By this he meant that someone “has to” then why not you? We all have unused potentialities and we all can achieve and deserve much more than we think we do. Overcome your fear of growing up; acknowledge your potentialities and limitations.  Even if you are defeated, you are equally valuable. We cannot avoid unhappiness but we can surely learn to be less scared by brilliance. Always remember, whenever you feel scared and want to give up on your dreams just ask yourself, “someone has to, then why not you?”

HAVE COURAGE AND BE KIND: CINDERELLA

The much talked about movie Cinderella was as wonderful as expected.... have you watched it lately? Ella is different from the girls of her kingdom. She believes in the magic of kindness and power of courage, this is what makes her different. It’s her true inner beauty for which the prince falls, when he meets her in the woods before the ball.

Courage is a universally admired virtue, and courageous individuals in all cultures have survived against all odds to become the heroes of subsequent generation.

Courage is the ability and willingness to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation. Not every risk taking activity can be signified as courage. A mugger might be facing risk, uncertainty and fear but to call him courageous would be to defame the trait. Good intent is an essential component of courage. It is a part that lets us admire it and that touches us when we see it in action.

Interestingly it is this goodness or kindness that keeps us from recognising our own courage. When Biswas- Diener (positive psychologist) interviewed courageous people in his research most of them didn’t see their actions as anything special. “Anybody would have done the same thing”, they would tell them. We are courageous because it seems like the right thing to do, because it’s what we expect of ourselves or what we believe that others expect of us.

Courage can be physical, moral or vital courage. Physical courage involves the maintenance of societal good by expression of physical behaviour. Moral courage involves the preservation of justice and service of common good. Vital courage refers to perseverance through a disease or disability even when the outcome is ambiguous.  

Life is not fair, at times we are surrounded by difficult people and situations, instead of returning evil for evil choose to be kind towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for any advantage, but for that person. The Cinderella's tale teaches us to live in the present moment, enjoying simple pleasures and maintaining an optimistic attitude.

Courage and kindness is shortest route to good life.  Courage is also wisdom, knowing when to act and when not to act. Disney teaches moral values and virtues which are indeed important for leading a fulfilling life. The universal virtues of courage and kindness are basis for our wellbeing and happiness.  These virtues help us develop our full potential and lead a more purposeful life. Be the master of your own destiny. Take risks and work hard. Have courage and be kind, where there is kindness there is goodness and where there is goodness there is magic. Believe in yourself and magic will follow.