SPRING CLEAN YOUR LIFE

                 DECLUTTERING CAN BE THERAPEUTIC

Have you ever wondered how energised and alive spring cleaning can make you feel. Letting things go that were occupying space not only your cupboard but your mind as well. It is both therapeutic and purifying at the same time. A cluttered home spreads negativity around us and clutter free home is a happy home. Decluttering is not mere cleaning but is the beginning of change and reorganization in our lives.

Our possessions affect our emotions, they dictate us in a way. Those little unwanted items in our cupboards control us and anchor us to our past. Decluttering our homes can help us to move on from – past relationships, old jobs, ideas that did not work. Sometimes it’s an opportunity to reconsider old forgotten things, hobbies, plans etc.  

Decluttering can be challenging and sometimes we actually end up without the real clean up. Thinking- That dress is so cute.... awww dat was a gift from my father...... I only bought it last summer.... this is so expensive....I like this color ...... I shoudn’t be throwing this away....

But “Be Ruthless” is what Milly Johnson’s “A Spring Affair” teaches us about decluttering. A spring affair is a story about Lou a woman who started clearing up her home and then moved on to clearing out her life. It emphasises the importance of decluttering and how therapeutic it can be. While by reorganizing and redefining your house you actually clear out your mind as well as your life.

Anything you own should be life-enhancing in some way. It should make you feel good and spread positivity round you. It should define you make you feel happy and not drain away your energies.There is nothing wrong with a little bit of sentimentality but holding on to everything can sometimes hold us back from moving ahead and growing in life. Ask yourself, “have I used it in the last six months and will I use it in future?” If the answer is no then throw it away without any second glance.

Start small where there's little attachment. It's easier to get rid of old newspapers and socks than an inherited ornament or a wedding dress. Be systematic and patient. Don't expect to be clutter-free overnight. Listen to your gut and be honest with yourself. As the saying goes 'If in doubt, throw it out'.

Breda, the author of Declutter Therapy says decluttering is a therapeutic process that offers many holistic and practical benefits, it helps us to cut ties with the past, accept the present and create space for the future -- physically, mentally and emotionally.

Our homes are often filled with very useful things. You can lessen any guilt of throwing away your valuables by donating to charity or recycle bins or even putting some garage sale. You can't change the fact that you've spent the money but it's healthy to let someone else enjoy these items. Someone else may need it more than you, will make you feel better. This whole process of getting unwanted things out of your life and making space for future is therapeutic.

Clear your house and clear your mind. Don’t let your life’s clutter dictate you. Throw it away and take back the control. Happy Spring Cleaning J

JONAH COMPLEX: FEAR OF ONES OWN GREATNESS

                          DO WE FEAR SUCCESS????

There would have been situations in your life where you want or wanted something badly, say some promotion, a dream job or admission in your dream university or anything like that but when such an opportunity is right there knocking at your door you just step back.  We want to achieve things, make progress but are in constant dread of making progress. Being successful is somehow fearsome. This fear of success or fear of one’s own greatness is Jonah Complex.

Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist put forward this concept the “Jonah complex” in this book published in 1971. The name comes from the Biblical story of Jonah’s evasion of the destiny to prophesy the destruction of Nineveh. Maslow states, "So often we run away from the responsibilities dictated (or rather suggested) by nature, by fate, even sometimes by accident, just as Jonah tried—in vain—to run away from his fate. Maslow’s complex refers to the ‘fear of one’s greatness,’ or avoiding our true destiny or calling. Maslow stressed that we fear our best as much as our worst.

We all have an impulse to improve ourselves, to move ahead in life, to grow, to reach our full potential. Then what holds us up? What blocks us? People with Jonah’s Complex have some kind of conflicts in their inner world. Some people realize these inner conflicts but in most of the cases these are repressed in the unconscious.

For Maslow Jonah complex is peoples defense to “run away from one’s own best talents” or “fear one’s own greatness”. Maslow pointed out that we fear doing our best because being at the top entails being lonely and also then they would only be able to move downwards. Hence, many of them spend their life fighting to stay away from being brilliant, fearing that if they would reach their potential it will only make them lonely and stressed. 

We all or atleast most of us fear success somehow and sometimes hold ourselves from trying, giving lame excuses to ourselves and others like .... I don't think I have it in me............ Nah!! its not for me....... I don't deserve it .... Somebody else deserved more etc.

In situations like these  Maslow used to advice, which I think is one of the most motivation phrases I've ever come across “IF NOT YOU, THEN WHO?” By this he meant that someone “has to” then why not you? We all have unused potentialities and we all can achieve and deserve much more than we think we do. Overcome your fear of growing up; acknowledge your potentialities and limitations.  Even if you are defeated, you are equally valuable. We cannot avoid unhappiness but we can surely learn to be less scared by brilliance. Always remember, whenever you feel scared and want to give up on your dreams just ask yourself, “someone has to, then why not you?”

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS AND DEPRESSION

Learned helplessness is a state where a person feels helpless to avoid a negative or unpleasant situation. This tendency is generally formed over several repeated encounters with an aversive stimuli/situation, which leads him to believe that he has no control over them. Sometimes the situation/aversive stimuli are escapable, but the person does not make any effort to get out of the situation. This happens because subsequently the person learns; all his effort will go in vain.

American psychologist Martin Seligman discovered this phenomenon of learned helplessness in an unexpected fashion. He and his colleagues were testing a particular learning theory on dogs, which involved giving electric shocks to dogs such that they couldn't avoid them. Later in the experiment, the dogs were put in open boxes from which they could escape, when given a shock. But, to the researcher’s surprise, the dogs made no attempt to escape i.e. when an animal is repeatedly exposed to an aversive stimulus which it cannot escape, it eventually stops trying to avoid the stimulus and behaves as if it is helpless to change the situation even when opportunities to escape become available.

Similarly in reactive depression a person faces series of negative uncontrollable events/stress (loss of relative/lover, failures, being dismissed from job etc). He/she feels they have no control over things that were happening to them. So, they give up trying. They learn that they are helpless and subsequently apply that piece of learning to any new situation too, even when they aren't helpless.

According to Seligman, people who suffer a series of such setbacks in life begin to believe that they have no control over any of the events in their lives’ and no matter what they do, things will turn out badly in the end. Therefore they give up trying, see themselves as failures and lose all motivation and interest in life.

The theory of learned helplessness also has been applied to many conditions and behaviours, including clinical depression, aging, violence, poverty, discrimination, parenting, academic achievement, drug abuse, and alcoholism , where a person shows a general inability or unwillingness to act, including low self-esteem, chronic failure, sadness, and physical illness.

In treating reactive depression cognitive behavioural therapy plays a vital role. The basic principle that underlies behavioural therapy is that if a thing can be learned it can be unlearned too. In case of such reactive depressions learned helplessness clearly explains why individuals may accept and remain passive in negative situations despite their clear ability to change them. Therapists here aim to break the conditioned conviction that “nothing will ever work”, by giving them simple tasks at which he/she can succeed, develop confidence and then move to harder ones.

Seligman says that the only way to help people who suffer from ‘learned helplessness’ depression is showing them that they can operate and deal effectively with their environment and are not mere victims of their fate. REMEMBER IT’S JUST A BAD DAY NOT A BAD LIFE!!!!!